Perfectly respectable people, in fact some very fine people, doctors such as Dr Oz, Dr. Phil, Dr Laura Ingraham, Dr. Bill O’Reilly and of course Presidential Medal of Freedom Winner the Honorable Dr. Rush Limbaugh have suggested that we “must not,” as our Dear Leader put it “let the cure be worse than the disease.” Everyone dies, and those dying of corona virus are mostly “on their last legs” like that medical resident who died in Brooklyn at age 26, or the school principal in her 30s, or some kid with asthma. Does your kid have asthma? If not, nothing to see here folks! It’s a “measly cold.”

These respectable conservatives are not monsters, but defenders of freedom who want nothing more than to dine in a restaurant and be able to say the “n” word because why should only black people have that right?

They are short-sighted however in merely defending the rights of Americans to buy lawn fertilizer or get their hair and nails done, or return the little ones to school so they might be able to get a head start on their day drinking. The problem is that it’s not merely about “culling the herd” and losing a few old geezers. If the kids go to school, teachers are bound to get sick, and a few of them might have some underlying condition or just not be lucky and die. Of course, most teachers would be happy to make that kind of sacrifice and they’ve had it good for way too long, what with summers off and only working till three, but this still might be chaotic for kids in both government and real schools. Then again, it might solve the problem of seniority and unions, so maybe it’s not the best example. A better example of the problem with simply letting the virus spread and letting God sort this out, would be the strain on the healthcare system.

Let’s say that only 10% of the people who catch the virus get sick enough to go to the hospital. We have no way of actually knowing percentages since it’s still so difficult to get a test, but lets just put that as a hypothetical. That’s still a lot of people and a lot of burden on the healthcare system. Even if only a small percent of those 10% need ventilators, treatment is very costly. Plus all that personal protective equipment is pricey. And it means that we patriotic Americans can’t get our much needed elective surgery done. Imagine you are a hardworking American on your third wife, and it’s time to either get her a boob job or trade her in, and you not only can’t you get the boob job booked because of this COVID-19 nonsense, but they aren’t allowing incoming flights from Eastern Europe!

Doctors and nurses, even young, healthy ones, seem especially vulnerable to the most virulent form of the disease. Yes, it’s what they signed up for, and we can replace them with exports, but that might mean reopening the borders and do you really want to be getting your prostate checked by Dr. Mohamed?

We must figure out some way to prevent the clogging of our healthcare system that will result if we simply open up the economy. Hospitals must be available for anyone who can afford to be in them, and skating rinks should be for skating, not for dead body storage! Clearly our freedom to do whatever we want is our God-given right as Americans under some amendment as confirmed by the Federalist Society (trademarked) owners of the Supreme Court of These United States, and we can’t let the mere 2 or 3 or 5 or whatever it is percent of the total population who might die of COVID-19 stand in the way.

Therefore, may I suggest that the aforementioned defenders of freedom have not gone far enough in saying we must reopen the economy and live with a few, or a few million, deaths? They must advocate for an opening up the healthcare system itself. Since we have no effective medicine or vaccine for the virus, the solution is simple. Those who have symptoms, reaching the point where medical intervention is necessary, must for the sake of the rest of us be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and give up their lives without wasting valuable medical resources. After all once ventilated, the odds are terrible. Why take up space? If people are selfish enough to call an ambulance, paramedics should be given a fast acting agent to put those poor souls out of their misery immediately, at which point their bodies should be brought quickly to a crematorium and disposed of. My suggestion would be building these crematoria quickly and placing them on the outskirts of our cities. Their possessions should then be seized, since this service will be costly, and the burden should not fall on we the tax-paying public. If they own businesses, perhaps those businesses could be transferred to loyal Americans in need, who did NOT get caught by the virus. We could call this the COVID-19 Special Treatment Law.

While this will not end the spread of COVID-19, it will solve some of the problem of its economic impact. Sure other measures must be taken. It is possible that many unpatriotic Americans (Democrats probably) – the weak – those with underlying conditions such as diabetes, high-blood pressure, cancer survivors, the elderly etc will continue hiding in their homes. They will no longer buy gasoline and see the USA in their Chevrolets. They will no longer dine in local eating establishments or get their hair done. They will NOT go to Disney World, or otherwise do their part to sustain economic growth. They will probably buy everything on Amazon. Therefore, we must also pass laws forcing them out. We can call this legislation, Shop or Die! It will take courage to enforce these laws. Perhaps we can add incentives and rewards for alerting the local authorities to your shut-in neighbors. As we learned from 911, if you see something, say something!

COVID-19 is a test, and it will change us. It will bring us back to our very roots. It will be the moral challenge of the century. In the longer term, we must really think about those Americans (not us) who, as the late (or possibly still out there surviving on blood transplants from the young) Senator Alan Simpson R-Wyoming, once said, feed off “a milk cow with 310 million tits” by which he meant social security. We might want to continue and expand the use of those crematoria. Think of how low our taxes would go if those medicare using layabouts weren’t relaxing with their chemo and insulin and kidney transplants that they charge to Joe Taxpayer, but instead were simply willing to live and die within their means, and not burden the rest of us. Did George Washington have health insurance? Did Abraham Lincoln? Or Jefferson Davis?

After all the alternative would be some sort of system where healthcare, itself would be looked at as a right, which would be socialism and an anathema to everything we stand for.

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