Republican cream puff Sue Lowden who’s running against Harry Reid in Nevada has suggested that a simple solution to the health care crisis.  No need for socialized “Obamacare.”  Let’s go back to the “olden days” when you could bring your doctor a chicken or paint his house.

She really said this.

I’m so thrilled that the Republicans are finally offering real ideas instead of simply going negative.  What brilliance this woman has!  Only someone from the true heartland of America, a place known for openness to new ideas about revenue streams like gambling and prostitution could look backwards to the future and come up with something like this.

The only problem is that I live in an urban area where most people don’t keep livestock (except for ritualistic purposes).  So without a chicken, is my medical goose cooked?  She also suggests housepainting, but that could take out my back which would just lead to more need for medical care.

I suppose if I were going in for surgery, I could simply allow the doctor to take out any extra parts — like say a kidney or slice of liver for exchange.  Women under 35 could offer their eggs which go for a lot on the open market and could probably cover a healthy family for a year. I suppose if we’re going to look for models in  the “olden days” — the days before credit cards, bankruptcy and insurance, we could go back to the ultimate barter item — oneself.   Yes, if faced with a serious illness and no other option, one could opt for indentured servitude and/or giving away one’s first born.  (If you can’t afford to pay the doctor, you probably shouldn’t be raising a child anyway.)

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4 Comments on But What can I Get for a Kidney?

  1. Troll says:

    But did she say how many chickens you will need to pay off the Obamacare death squads to stop them from killing your granny?

    • Marion says:

      Apparently no amount of chickens can pay off the jackbooted thugs of the federal govment. This is EXACTLY citizens need to be armed and openly carrying — to protect granny from the death squads, black helicopters and lizard people.

  2. Anonymous says:

    @Troll actually I rent my granny out to bake cookies. You see I financed her hip replacement, so any time she steps out of line, I tell her just who owns her Goddamn hip. So even after the initial cost of her hip, I am ahead on the deal, especially now that the cupcake fad is out people are coming back to cookies.

  3. Craig says:

    If any doctor needs a jester, I’m your man!

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